The month it started to fall apart

I finally pulled up my blog. Finally. I do so with a bit of dread, knowing it had been quite a while since I had written. But March? Really? April 2011 was the month life fell apart at the seams. The good news is, we are stitching it back together now, and looking forward to 2012. So what happened? Sometimes, I cannot really remember everything, but I need to tell my story as writing is therapeutic for me. Here goes......in April we found out we would be moving. We could not tell anyone for a long while, but plans had to be made so we were given several months notice. We knew we would probably move, but until we found out where, details remained on hold. I started packing boxes. We told Mom, and my brother and sister in law came for a visit, moral support, and brief chatting over logistics for Mom. It was those logistics that were propelling me into a level of stress I did not really recognize until I had a panic attack on the interstate. I was able to pull over once, get back on 126, and get off at the Piney Grove exit to retrieve Kate from gymnastics. But I could not make the left turn onto the road, pulled over into a gas station parking lot, cried and called Scott and Sheri. I thought I was having a heart attack. I had no idea what was happening. After being rescued by Sheri, and then by Scott at her house, a visit to the doctor, and a halter monitor for a few days, my diagnosis of anxiety and panic were clear. I took half a pill each time I needed it, but with the stress seemingly short term, I opted for counseling instead of a daily regime of an anti-anxiety medication. And it has worked. I have my emergency meds, but have not taken one in months. This week in April, the week of the attack, ended with Easter, but my Mom's sister (my Aunt Mai) died that day, thrusting my Mom into a hard, hard visit to Tennessee. My brother Mike took her and helped care for her there. It was also the week they had horrendous storms in TN, with trees falling down in my Aunt Johnnie's yard, they lost power, and Mike got a generator from his work to keep Mom's oxygen going. Even from a distance, I absorbed more stress. The week of the panic attack is also the week I was awarded the University's Freshman Advocate award. Kate joined me on the Horseshoe, but the stress and sadness of the weak dissipated the joy I had anticipated. This was also the week of mine and Scott's 10th anniversary, and I probably could not have appreciated him any more than I did during this time, this month. He was a complete rock for me in a month of feeling completed uprooted. In May, my brother Mike visited again and Mom's TV broke. But Scott graduated in May and we treated family out to lunch to celebrate. That same weekend we traveled to Plains, GA with several families to see Jimmy Carter and although a short trip, it was a light in the dark. Also this month, my cousin Laura visited, Mom went to the ER and somehow May ended pretty well, alongside the constant packing, and planning for Mom's care with our upcoming departure from Columbia, to Wagener, SC. It was also during this time my computer at home crashed, and I lost everything on it: from addresses to my yoga history. I tried to have files recovered, but with only a few useless documents found, I coped by simply ordering a new one. On June 2, while I was at a professional meeting, Mom returned to the ER, but this time she was admitted for pneumonia due to aspiration. Only gone for less then 24 hours, I came back, Mike also came, and we checked on Mom and at one point, we had to discuss a feeding tube with the doctor because Mom's inability to swallow well meant that she's likely to aspirate again, but she agreed to a very soft diet. Two days later, we celebrated Kate's 7th birthday amidst the total chaos, and after a week, Mom headed to rehab at Wildewood Downs after I visited three facilities in less then 2 hours. Two days after moving Mom to rehab, Kate and I took one day off to see Scott's United Methodist Church commissioning in Florence, SC. It was a lovely service, and we could not have been more proud. With graduation and commissioning complete, life chugged along. The next week, my car died in Trenholm Plaza and at the same time, Kate had a fever and was diagnosed with strep. Same day. And the next day, we had a yard sale. And the next day was Father's Day, and then Kate was sick again that next week and I joined her too with a sinus infection: the next night we had our bon voyage dinner at Mt. Dearborn UMC, and a second yard sale the day after that. And then four days later, we moved. There were moments Scott and I would look at each other and say, "how is this all going to work out?" Me, wanting to control it all and grasp too tightly, had to learn to let go a great deal and let God work it out. The good news included Mom's 8 weeks in rehab overlapped our big time packing which would have been hard for her to both see and endure (the dust and boxes would have been awful for her breathing, as it already was for ours!). We had a great deal of help moving, especially moving day on June 29, with Scott's sister and mother helping to pack cars and unload boxes. The welcome from both churches enabled us to unpack without cooking one meal. And during this first month of being away from Columbia, Mom was in rehab, being cared for, which lessened our worry so much. In early August, with a great deal of stress of his own, my brother Mike moved in with Mom to take care of her. He is doing much better than I ever dreamed he would, and it has kept her out of assisted living for the time being. And, it has given me back my freedom, my small tiny family, and much of my sanity. Looking back, I cannot believe we made it through to this point, and have enjoyed six months in a new home, out in the country, with two precious congregations to care for, and who care for us. The panick attacks are gone as I started a regular meditation practice, alongside my yoga practice. At times, I feel it creep into my belly, mostly as I drive on the interstate and feel a bit vulnerable, but I've been able to breath them away.....the only other bump in the road was the realization in late October that I was losing my hair, most likely a delayed reaction to the stress of the previous months. But my bad ass hairstylist, Kelly Odom at Urban Nirvana, gave me a new do, and confirmed some new growth :) I pray 2012 teaches me more, wonderful lessons, but at a slower, less stressful pace. These three months were among the hardest, yet as I sit here, I realize that it was a full, three months. Three being my favorite number. We celebrate in threes, we challenged in threes. Here's hoping for more peace to our little family of three. And for you too. Peace and love.

I've got to plug Kmart.

Being an official frugal shopper, I must put in a plug for the KMart (Landsend) Shop your way rewards card (hereby acronymed SYRW). GET ONE. I get all of these rewards cards and use them without fail. But my Kmart card really paid off tonight. When you shop KMart, Landsend or other listed store, you earn points which translate into dollars. Last time I was at Kmart, they told me I had $10 plus credit, and I said I'd use it next time. Well tonight, LandsEnd.com was running a fantastic sale on one of their classic totes. I realized I could register my SYWR card with my Landsends.com account. The totes are on sale tonight only for $20, and using a promo + code, free shipping. I got a monogram too, so overall $25. But I then applied my rewards of $10.56, and paid a tiny bit over $15 for what would've cost $35 plus shipping on any regular day. I was delighted! So all of that swiping and keeping a key chain full of plastic may not be a bad idea, if you don't mind your shopping habits being tracked through these companies' crazy systems. Just my .02 for the week.

It's only Tuesday?

It has already been a long tiring week....but it's only Tuesday. Last night I was blessed with the chance to interview with a committee for the Freshman Advocate Award. This is my third nomination in 13 years. It's an honor and a delight to be nominated, to be a finalist, but the interviewing part often makes me jittery. Said jitteryness was not allayed by the monsoon storm in full swing after myinterview. Couple that with closing up a national fellowship deadline today and it should legimately be Friday tomorrow. On the up side, I did purchase Glad kitchen trash bags at Rite Aid for a little over $2. And I used my Chickfila calendar coupon yesterday morning before it expired, again, another good solid coupon success. And I've gotten to work on time two days in a row. And finally, I had a $5 Gymboree rewards coupon that I used to buy a skirt for Kate which was on sale for $10. Okay, that's it. Enough moaning over my schedule and bragging about my frugal efforts. As I have felt the stress swirl around my inner body, I have tried to breathe it away. Pair that with quiet times two days in a row, and today I felt a small hope and a distinct peace, two aspects of health that have felt elusive lately. There is light....especially when you love Justin Bieber and today is his birthday :) Peace out.

The end of a week

This has been a busy week! Meeting with First Year Scholars is such a joy, and I have met with several this week. I'm at 13 of 45 thus far with a few appointments on my book. Some of the conversations have been so insightful -- how they came to choose the University over the many other schools they gained acceptance to, many prestigious institutions. I think our students make wise choices to attend college here. The cost of an education is quite expensive, and the attention and resources they receive at USC is exceptional. Okay, perhaps I am a bit biased, as both a two-degree alumni and employee here. In a couple of weeks, high school seniors will come and interview for our scholarship programs. The current scholar peeps are eager to share their experiences -- now that is fun to see. In other news, we had a scholar social yesterday, and made 55 Valentine Cards for hospitalized children. I loved seeing everyone express their creativity, enjoying each other, and take time out from very busy schedules to sit down and create with their hands. It's fun to be old school sometimes. Photos below.

Failures and Successes. All in a week.

This week has been interesting for my free stuff. First, I marched into Bruegger's yesterday for a free bagel thin and cream cheese, when I realized the coupon was for Einstein Bagels. Like I said on FB, epic fail. But this did not deter me from marching in there today at 1 pm to get my free 3 bagels in honor of the store's birthday! Also on Monday, a coworker put a Chickfila postcard in my box with three freebies on it. Score. And tonight I took Kate to EdVenture's $1 night.....again, a nice success for tiring her out on a weeknight. On my CVS run at lunch, I entered with $13 in extra care bucks and left paying $3.12 for 4 Vitamin waters, deodorant, Valentine's candy, a card and candy for Scott, gum, ..... a great way to spend my ECB that would expire on Monday. And finally, for supper, I indulged in Chickfila on Decker's Tuesday night B1G1 chicken salad sandwich, which delighted The Mimi! Now I'm off to look at my checkbook which tells me that the 15th is still a few too many days away. Peace.

Almost free deodorant. And the K Cup.

I went to Walgreens to pick up Mom's prescription, and the men's Dove deodorant caught my eye: still a $2 reward. So, I got one. I realized I had a $2 reward that expired yesterday, but I asked the cashier, "think it'll work?" His reply, "let's see." It did. I got that, plus a Reese's for $3.19, plus my $2 reward. Oh and I got to see Neil Cannon, who sleeps on a cot in the back. Just kidding! We made another big purchase today, a bit more than my Walgreen's run: a Keurig. After using one at Cindy's house and the Joy Sunday School class, I've become obessed. I bought the Elite today at Belk and used my birthday 15% off coupon. It's set and ready for the morning. After Kate's auction, the next morning my first thought was, "my feet hurt. I wish I had a Keurig." And so now I do.

Free Ruffles and $10. Yes please.

One thing I love about couponing, saving money and generally conquering the world is that each day, there can be a surprise. Like today, for instance. I received in the mail a coupon for a free .99 bag of Ruffles. This will be a terrible snack for Kate one day, but rest assured I'll use it in that fashion. I also received a Rite Aid rebate check for $10, which made me feel awfully rich. It's like someone walking up to you and handing you a ten dollar bill. Hello! I also scored a coupon for a free bagel thin and cream cheese at Brueggers. On a lighter note, Scott came to yoga tonight (and of course, Kate too), so we'll be adding another weeknight to our Family Night Regime: Mondays and Fridays. Kate is doing an excellent job at sitting through Monday yoga classes, being patient, and staying occupied. Not only do I think this will develop some good skills for her, but just being in the room and being exposed to this practice will give her something additionally to draw on later if she wishes. Note to KC, I said, "if she wishes." And thanks to my dear friend KC, I was able to be at my desk this morning working hard, instead of trying to argue a ticket in federal court. Now that's a whole 'nother story.

From beginning to end: just one week

This week started out in an unusual fashion: I was off work for the MLK, Jr. holiday, and attended the funeral of a high school friend. My week started off very sad. It was so hard to see the faces of our high school group, tear stained, sad, and confused. The service was lovely, and included communion. As I walked down the aisle and looked at those in the pew, I kept expecting to see John sitting in the pew, as I was seeing all of his friends and family. It was very confusing. I taught yoga later that same day, and felt held and reassured by watching the efforts of the students. The days pressed on, and work always feels normalizing. Seeing the faces of my college students brings hope, smiles, hugs. Also this week I took Mom to the eye doctor, and felt able to check another appointment off the list for her. I've reveled in the mundaneness of watching Kate and Scott play angry birds on our iTouches. Doing nothing can often feel like doing something really great. I went to yoga, expecting to see my teacher but seeing a friend teach instead and seeing her belly grow with a beautiful steadiness that brings a sweet smile to my face. Soon, a new baby. This morning I found out a car insurance violation ticket was dismissed. No federal court for me Monday morning and later today I took Kate to gymnastics and love being new to the gym and for now, anonymous... affording me a chance to play my own games on my iTouch :) and tonight I visited with one of my BFFs for over 3 hours with only an occasional interruption by my child. Over five days, a depth and breadth of emotion and activity that is called life. This week, fairly well lived.

New Year's Intention

So here I am, on my second posting of the new year, 2011. It's an intention for me to post weekly, so fingers crossed I can! This is the second snow day for us....and tomorrow Kate has a third. I thought our routine would easily resume tomorrow, but alas, additional flexibility needed as I return to work (USC open or not) and Scott with his one class.... I guess we'll split the day. So, as for the Smoak Year of Free, two days off work certainly counts! However, Scott scored the megadeal of the year with his Walgreens run last week: two peppermint mocha creamers for .26! Here's the breakdown: Coffeemate creamers, buy one get one free, $2.49 each. He presents one $1.50 Walgreens reward and one .75 coffeemate coupon = .24...plus tax equals .26. Walgreens' policy is that your number of coupons (Qs for short) or RR must be less than or equal to the number of items (cannot use two Qs and a Walgreens Register Reward (RR) for two items....) so the one Q and one RR for the two creamers was excellent! As for 2011, Scott is certainly pulling his weight for the year.

Baby, I'm back!

Embarrassing to see my blog absence of a year and half. Ridiculous! So I'm making it a New Year's intention to blog weekly..... fingers crossed. Last year Scott and I deemed it the Year of Free, so 2011 is the Smoak Family Year of Free II. As I have embraced couponing, I guess it has become a downright hobby (I would say religion, but three spiritual paths in our family is enough for now....). To start off 2011, I went to a free class at City Yoga on Sunday at 5:30 pm. Today, I received my free drink postcard for my birthday (tomorrow) from Starbucks. I have also had some great couponing successes this week, including two boxes of Emergen-C, a box of Electrosol tablets, one container of Wet Ones and one box of Kleenex for $10.90, a savings of $25.99! Also in the works is a free mini chicken sandwich from Zaxby's, and at least three free hamburgers for my birthday.....those may not get used, but hey, they're there :) And to finish the week, our free spicy chicken biscuits from Chickfila. What a cool way to end the week.