I live with my mom. Again.

There is a saying, "you can't go back home." It's a saying, probably because it's true. However, I am home again. We live with my mom as my husband begins his journey through seminary, and the short of it is, that without living with her, we'd be destitute. But my mom is about to turn 80, and being in the house with her is reassuring for all of us as we try to take care of one another. As the only daughter-mother combination in the house, I often feel torn.....today, mom and I fussed about a multitude of items which has left me weepy virtually all day, and I cannot come up with an answer to any of the questions. I love my mom dearly, but I find it difficult to be patient with her. We are caught in several Catch-22s: she needs us to help her out, yet she doesn't want to lose her independence. She wants to spoil our daughter, but at times is frustrated when our daughter will not listen to her correction. I work full time outside the house, and my mom worked full time inside the house -- and there are 40 years between us, but to her, there should be no differences in the way our lives are lived. And so, this is where we are: no answers, hurt feelings, tears, weariness.

I skipped church

I didn't go to church today. The only way I can describe the way I feel is blah. I thought I was getting sick, but the illness didn't quite progress. But I don't feel like myself at all, so I am here instead of with my family at church. I swore to myself I would have a decent quiet time here, to justify my absence, and that I would not get on the computer. I am realizing that perhaps the reason I feel blah IS the computer. I think it can actually suck some life out of us if we are on it too long.....it makes us clingy to bad news, hopeful for impersonal communication, and encourages us to spend money. Don't get me wrong -- I know the fabulous uses of it; however, moderation here may be key, and for a news junkie like myself, this can be tough. Our modem recently died, and until we got a new one, I felt a small freedom I had not felt before.....one in which I felt motivated to read a book, to do chores left waiting, and even to simply sit. After this, I'm not only getting off the computer, I think I will turn it OFF for a while.

We're going to Disney

Having not been to Disney since the 5th grade, I am now finally looking forward to going to see The Mouse. Epcot was not even built when we went, so the park(s) should be quite a surprise. We are taking our almost three-year-old for what we are calling, "A Character Immersion Experience." She is not fond of our University mascot, where I work, so I am hoping Team Disney can intervene and break her of this fear. Disney seems so cliche, and my husband was not even quite excited at first when we discussed it; however, I am finding that Disney DOES have appeal from folks I might least expect to love it. And they indeed love it! So, we'll be going this summer, and we'll see what a really small world it is.